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Discussion Starter #1
That’s How the fight started...... :thumbsup:

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last
year!"

And that's how the fight started...
________________________________

I asked my wife,
'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!'
she said.
So I suggested,
'How about the kitchen?'

And that's when the fight started...
________________________________

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said,
'Do you want to have $ex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
'Yes.'
So I said,
'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started...
________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first…
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was
flipping the channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
upcoming anniversary.
She said,
'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about
3 seconds.' I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as
he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed,
‘He’s my old boyfriend... I understand he took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said,
'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that
long?'

And then the fight started...

________________________________


I rear-ended a car this morning... So, there we were
alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said,
'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...
________________________________



THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept
hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
first, the truck, the car, playing golf… Always something more
important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the
tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors… I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a
toothbrush.
I said,
'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well
sweep the driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always
have a limp.
 

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ROFL! Awesome my day just got better :p
 

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THAT'S GREAT! my wife and i were cracking up! printing that off right now to post at work. thanks for brightening my day!
 

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BWAAAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :laugh:
OMG. Talk about LMAO. :zzzzz:
 

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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'


And that's when the fight started....

_________________________________________________________________


A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy shit. That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed, scared and naked, and jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'


And that's when the fight started....

_________________________________________________________________________
 

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Discussion Starter #8
A husband and wife get pulled over by the police one night over for a minor traffic infraction. The officer comes to the car and asks why he had run the red light, the husband sure that he had not run the light was getting agitated and raised his voice a bit to the officer. The officer being offended by this asked for his licence and car documentation. The wife trying to be the mediator leans over to address the officer and say's,
"Oh please officer he does't mean to be disrespectful, he always talks like this when he has had a couple of beers!" :laugh:

Now that's when the fight started!
 

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.

So I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started....
 

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A husband and wife get pulled over by the police one night over for a minor traffic infraction. The officer comes to the car and asks why he had run the red light, the husband sure that he had not run the light was getting agitated and raised his voice a bit to the officer. The officer being offended by this asked for his licence and car documentation. The wife trying to be the mediator leans over to address the officer and say's,
"Oh please officer he does't mean to be disrespectful, he always talks like this when he has had a couple of beers!" :laugh:

Now that's when the fight started!
lmfao!!!!
 

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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were

in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started....
 

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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were

in bed. ...
Hmm, not as funny the 2nd time around, in the same thread.:sadbanana:
 

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Haha, ain't that just the way it goes? Bunch a smart asses, the lot of ya! :p
Like the saying goes "'tis better to be a smartass than a dumbass", and don't think I am calling you a dumbass Lora, since I know you could take me out.:zzzzz:
 

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My wife got mad at me for using the word 'sh!t', but to me, that's what dinner tasted like.

...And thats when the fight started.
 
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